Last Sunday was my second Mothering Sunday,
we had a pretty relaxed day, bought a chicken and had a picnic together on the floor with a french stick.
Mother's day number 2 has got me thinking about time. Since having Molly there has been a few birthdays in the family, a christmas, countless sleepless nights, a few bumps, a few more snotty noses, a lot of kisses and even more cuddles. And it's gone worryingly fast. I can't believe these photo's were taken last summer. She could only just roll then. Now she's climbing the stairs in record time and almost read to walk! She just needs a little more confidence then we're really in for the fun. Am I really going to have a toddler? Am I really a mother? Sometimes I don't feel any 'different' to before Molly was here, but underneath that things really have changed. When I wake up the first thing I think of isn't that I need to brush my teeth, but of Molly. Is she ok? Did she sleep well, what shall we do for breakfast, what would make her smile today?
My heart now has a constant ache, I worry about everything. Sometimes I cry.
When I hold her I feel that earthquake of tremendous love. It makes my chest sore, my stomach cramp and my arms tighten. I feel like we're one. And I hope this feeling never goes away. It reminds me how special she is and how to never take her for granted. I'm constantly told how she will at somepoint become a horror because so far she's been so good. And how I will lose patience. And I know this is another part of being a mother. But so far it hasn't happened, I haven't wanted to run away or bang my head against a wall. All I feel is an excruciating amount of love and I hope this remains. And if I can stay two steps ahead of her next want then we're half way there.
Bring on the toddler I say, bring on the tantrums!
I'm a momma and I can do anything.
Yay! My Mothers day Sunflower is growing :)
