Monday 27 October 2014

24

(I don't know if you've noticed but our kitchen clock is very broken.)
Also, do you think I could be the fourth member of Haim? That's pretty much my aim in life..

Sometimes I still feel like I'm 14. How was that a decade ago?? I still like Something Corporate and I had a binge on the Verve the other week. I read the Harry Potter series in two weeks last month. And Molly and I are killing it on the scrapbooking. I'm still always late (except for work). I've also been watching Buffy over the last few nights (hence the blog hiatus) though I watched that when I was 8? 9? There is no way that was suitable.

Anyway. I still stalk instagrams and blogs (when I was 14 it was Myspace profiles haha).

Today Jamie and I surprised Molly with a trip to McDonalds after nursery. She had a pretty rough weekend with tantrums and generally acting up quite a bit so she was told off more than I usually would have liked. So we took her to McDonalds (Sugar! Salt! ..IknowIknow) So we were eating our nutritious meals and I notice this older couple (late 60's, early 70's? I'm so bad with age) and they're both waiting for their food scrolling on their smart phones. Not talking, not looking at each other, scrolling. Just like in all those videos doing the rounds about putting your phone down. Crazy right? And then there's that blog entry I read recently about how we (internet, social media using parents) are forging paths for our children on internet ettiquette and how to not to get destroyed by the vortex. Or share too much. That's quite a responsibility. I love sharing ha. So many times I've nearly deleted my blog, quit facebook and decided to live without. But I can't. Not yet. 

I guess that's why I don't put too much out there anymore though. If I'm not comfortable reading it aloud to my friends, family and colleagues it's not ok to type. Then again I do believe in this quote: 

'You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.' - Anne Lamott 

I read this on (surprise surprise) twitter. Very liberating. And scary. I certainly have been very badly behaved, and I'm sure will continue to be.

This has been quite a 12 months. I began 23 in Ostend, this year I began 24 with a wide smile from Molly. Both good beginnings. I found a part of 23 pretty tough. And I'm glad to be 24. I'm also glad to be nearing the end of this year. It's been good, interesting and I've definitely grown. As a parent in particular. I have to be SO careful what I say/do/wear. Everything she is just drinking in. I'd hate to think anything negative I say become her inner voice. But equally I don't want her to think she can get away with being totally narcissistic. My world revolves around her, but not many others will. Empathy is quite possibly the most painful and useful quality to possess. But to teach that, well, it's hard. I don't want to pop any bubbles.

Sometimes this year I haven't looked at myself in the mirror for a few days. And I've pretty much stopped wearing make-up. As such I've noticed my face change. I might start wearing it again, it was a theme in my birthday gifts. 

I probably say this every year but I've recognised how truly lucky I am to have a wonderful network of sweet, intelligent perfect girl and boy friends. And my family is fucking awesome. Little, big and extended. I am very, very lucky. Jamie and I have gone through many stressful situations and kept our gamefaces on. GO TEAM. We've also made it our for a few date nights, which is funny 'cus we don't even like each other ;)

24 has all the makings of being a fantastic year. I hope I can add a little more education into it. A bit more writing. A blog name change, this is the year I will do it (do I sound like a broken record). And saying yes to a few more things. At 24 I also get to see my beautiful perfect sister marry. And even better I get to be by her side while she does it which makes me well up at the thought.  

24 is going to be really good. I can feel it.

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